i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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