The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
