Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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