Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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