It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Small penises have feelings too.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
