do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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