I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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