We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
