I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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