i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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