Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
