**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
