Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
