Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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