the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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