Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
