We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
