I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
