hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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