My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
