Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
