we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
