how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
