I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
