my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
