i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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