I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize