Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize