Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
