It's Friday. Sex?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
