I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
