its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
