Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
