Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
