once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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