I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
