just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
