I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
