its not stalking. its research.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
