Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
