tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
