He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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