Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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