I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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