So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
