This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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