Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
