We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
