so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
