Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
