dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
