So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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