Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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