so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do vagina's smell?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
