i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
