And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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