It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
