At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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