i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
