There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
