Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
