Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
