pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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