he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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