i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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