i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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