I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
